The Beat of His Heart
by Princess Starfire of Tamaran
Summary: Robin's a little shaken as he realizes how close he came to lossing Star today. When the world just seems unbearable, it's time to realize we need to share our pain. RobxStar one-shot. slightly angsty fluff thing...ya.


_The Beat of His Heart_

He stood atop the tower, his eyes searching the sky for answers. None were given and an anguished sigh was emitted from his pale face. The boy ran a gloved hand through his wet, unruly locks. The soft, warm rain was a welcomed companion to the silent figure. Behind his thin, black mask, soulful eyes were faithfully disregarding the burn of tears.

Again he felt himself slipping away from Robin and back into Richard; nothing more than a terrified sixteen-year-old who had tasted death one too many times. Robin felt his body tense at the creak of an opening door. He gritted his teeth, taking note of how gingerly she stepped towards him. Was she scared of him now? After the way he had yelled… he wouldn't be surprised.

"Robin…" her voice fell on him as a mere whisper, but it exhausted him. How he longed to wake up from this sick dream called reality. Robin felt her delicate hand tentatively touch his shoulder and he jerked away as if it stung. He heard her strangle back a sob, no doubt her emerald eyes were stricken with hurt caused by him… once again. Robin's lips curved up into a crazed grin and an ironic chuckle burst from him, twisting into an almost malicious sound.

The Boy Wonder refused to look her in the eye, nor even acknowledge her presence. A part of him hoped she would just leave and let him brood, replaying the dagger sinking into her shoulder again and again. But another part of him clamored to take her into his arms and never let go. How the princess had stirred so many emotions, ones he shouldn't have had, within his seemingly soulless being was utterly beyond him. And thus was a driving factor that brought him up here night after night to scream for sleep to finally seduce him into the dream world.

"I am sorry," she said quietly, fingering the bandages that wrapped her shoulder idly. Robin felt his sanity snap. Whirling around to face her, his lips curved into a snarl, he yelled loud and heated into the night. Couldn't she understand!

"Damn it, Star, is that all you can say!" his hands clenched into tight fists. "Do you think saying sorry would have saved your life back there! If Cyborg hadn't pushed that guy… he would've hit your heart, Starfire… your HEART!" his voice cracked with pent up rage.

"You would have died if I had not gotten in the way," she said softly, simply. Robin growled.

"It doesn't matter Star! It was a _dagger_, Kori! _I_ was supposed to take the damned dagger!" His breath was ragged as he attempted to control the onslaught of unfamiliar feelings that raged through his body. Starfire's emerald eyes widened.

"How-how can you say it wouldn't matter?" she breathed, her gaze shocked and imploring.

"Kori, my life isn't that important ok? I don't matter! If I were to die… the sun would still rise and set! You… oh God, Kori if you died…"

"The sun would still rise and fall in my absence as well," she finished. Starfire tilted her head, her eyes full of longing to understand him. She moved to him, placing her hand over his heart. Robin stared at her before moving his hand to rest atop hers, his head bowed. "Why do you feel your life is so worthless?" she asked quietly. She hadn't really expected him to answer.

"I- just… so much…" he choked on his own words. There had been so much pain in his life… death often sounded like an attractive prospect. Starfire pressed her head to his chest, leaning into him.

"You do not always have to be strong… Richard…" she whispered. Robin looked off. He'd thought he'd lost her today. The fear that had clutched his heart had been so real. When she dived in the way and all he'd seen was blood, it had scared him. He wasn't allowed to be scared, though. "Please do not hurt alone," she murmured, reaching up with one hand, the other still over his heart, to peel off his mask. He helped her in silence, finally letting it drop to the ground, forgotten for the moment. She stared into his sapphire eyes, wanting to loose herself in their depths, wanting to understand so much her body ached. The young man returned her gaze, a sudden and painful realization blowing his mind away. He wanted her to understand too. He wanted to share his pain with her… he wanted her to share her own pain with him. Robin brushed his lips lightly against hers. Starfire shivered, the insecurity she felt in his kiss was frightening.

But he wanted her. And that was enough. "Trust me… to love you," she whispered, seeking out his lips again. The words now spoken, Robin felt emotions springing up in him in ways he hadn't known possible and he held her protectively close, unwilling to let the new found feelings go. She hadn't died and that was all that mattered. Starfire felt tears spring to her eyes as his desperate kisses conveyed his passionate need to be loved. Robin laid a feather light kiss to her bandaged shoulder, a sound close to a whimper breaking his lips. As they stood there on the roof, feeling each other's heartbeats she had never seen her leader so vulnerable.

Richard Grayson could love.

* * *

Author's Note: Ok, this came out a lot more angsty than I planned. I don't know where it came from but... ya. I guess I like it. Of course it's a stark contrast to my little grocery shopping escapade fic. Go read that if you feel depressed now, lol. Either way, I hope you'll drop off a little review, I appologize in advance for any grammer mistakes seeing as this never reached my Beta. Thank you very much!

Love, Princess Starfire of Tamaran


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